(Source: florahltea)
Doctor Who: The only show that has inter-species crime fighting lesbians with a pet potato.
I wonder what we look like to the outside world
okay but
this is quality humor right here
WHA TS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEER NUTS AND DEER NUTS
BEER N UTS COST $1.99 AND DEER NUTS ARE UND ER A BUCK
TWO ST AGS WALK OUT OF A GAY BAR AFTER LAST CALL ONE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND SAYS W OW I CANT BELIEVE I BLEW THIRTY BUCKS INTHERE.
(Source: imjust-a-girl)
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Here in Canada you can
Here in England we just… scream and run
Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer
Here in Australia you are the murderer
(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)
(Source: katiebookqueen)
for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot
(Source: neptunepirate)
(Source: weheartpattinson)
I live by the beach and this little guy just popped by for a visit
EXCUSE ME
Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord, Poseidon?
(Source: ryulongd)



